Home for the Holidays

It's been nice.
I got to play with Bobby and Gina - and despite their high-maintenance and freak-outs, things were good and we had some serious quality time together. I also played with babies Layla and Gianna, who at only 3 months old was the perfect Christmas centerpiece for the table.
I've seen Lexie a lot and Becca and Kate and some others who I have been dying to see. Hopefully Erin and Deidre are tomorrow, and Friday will be Princeton-people day.


For Christmas, Dawn got us all tickets to see Disney on Ice. I can blame it on the lack of Lexapro, but ohhh my goodness did I cryy. It was AMAZING. It started with The Princess and the Frog which was..eh. Then Cinderella which obviously I loved and it made me cry. Then was Tangled. Oh. My. Goodness. I was so disappointed that I have not devoted my life to ice skating acrobatics. The over-the-top acting and happiness and expressivity and musicality made me ache to perform that way. It was gorgeous...the way Rapunzel and Flynn would soar through the air on imaginary hair. I must be a princess.

We saw "We Bought a Zoo" with the kids today which was sad but happy.

Later, I went up to Moorestown to be with a sad Lexie because some biotch is causing great discomfort in her life with unnecessary and rude language and behavior. Lexie, Dan, and I went to Prospector's in Mt. Laurel to meet up with Michela and line dance. Yes, line dance. Hardcore line dancing. It was so hard but we tried, broke a sweat, and called it a night.

Yay weird life :)

Merry? Christmas?

So all that stuff I planned to do didn't happen because I spent Saturday vomiting. I thought it was because I was so upset over my divorce with Michael, but it turned out to be a 24-hour stomach bug. Lots of puke.

This past weekend kicked my ass.
Friday - no more Michael.
Saturday - puke. Michael drops off bike.
Sunday - spent $850 getting my brakes fixed.

Monday was pretty awesome. Snow day. My new very good friend Robert and I had a snowball fight and ate delicious food, then hung out with the band and we were silly.

It is now Tuesday. 2 hr delay made the day easy...until I left school and realized that my brakes were hardly working...niiiiice....
THEN found out that my landlady changed her mind about lowering my rent.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
2 days then home. hope nobody got me anything nice for christmas...because i can't handle the thought of spending more money or shopping.
i am very upset. and i don't want to go home i want to stay in my bed and never move ever. bye.

Self-Respect

I am going to continue running and biking and eventually swimming (might have to join the community center) because I must respect my body and goals. I eat badly because I am stressed and sad. I need more ohples and banonos.

I always tell my students and people I meet - "In Santa Fe I have one friend that's a girl and one friend that's a boy." I'm lucky to see my friend that's a girl once a week... maybe... and my guy friend and I have had a falling out and it might be for the better.
It's not that I feel lonely...I don't feel lonely. But I don't know...I'm just unhappy with the situations of life. I don't know what needs to get better, but I feel strange.

I'm so tired of spending time writing out discipline reports and giving names for detention. They don't even care about parent phone calls or detentions or suspensions. I'm reading a lot, preparing for my Renaissance to employ after the break...complete with grading and behavior policies and posted expectations. A girl who is deservingly failing my class asked me today how she can get her grade to at least a C....haha...no.
My students don't respect me. I mean, of course some do, but they often take over like a tidal wave and i am washed away. I know it's because I'm like Barbie the music teacher, as my secretary joked today...it's hard to smoosh being a cool pretty lady and being an authoritative teacher. I want success. For the respect of musicians everywhere.

Gin & Subtonic is so fun. Our first paying gig is on January 10th at Evangelos' -- a bar near the plaza of Santa Fe. I really love it. I know it's not really my talent, but damn do I feel good when I'm workin it. It's gonna be a blast. As long as I don't blast my voice out. I'm going to start singing with the community college's Chamber Singers - as i've been invited by my mentor - in the next semester. yesssss. I must respect my voice and my passion for 5-part madrigals.

Goals for Saturday:
Clean out car.
Plan for 2 days of chorus.
Plan for Kinder.
Belong to Sam's Club.
Mail thing.
Put together gift for Secret Santa.
Run and/or bike.
Remember reasons to love life and love myself.