A Week in the Life of a Catholic School Music Teacher

Sunday - at least one mass. Sometimes 3. Currently it's an early mass, then Children's Choir rehearsal, then another mass (sometimes with the kids singing), then stalk the marimba practice at the Cathedral.

Monday - teach 4 classes, 2 duties, a ukulele lesson and 2 piano lessons, go to college choir practice which is boring and I'm not continuing it after the December 1st concert.

Tuesday - teach 4 classes, 1 duty, 1 meeting, choir practice after school til 4:30 plus transporting the marimbas to the church, RCIA (Catholic class) at night for 2 hrs.

Wednesday - direct Children's Mass, transport marimbas back, teach 3 classes, 1 duty, pull kids out of lunch for marimba practice, teach 3 piano lessons, go to church choir practice for 2 hrs. which I love

Thursday - teach 4 classes, 2 duties, 1 piano lesson, staff/group meeting, find something ridiculously fun to do.

Friday - teach 3 classes, 4 duties, Student Council meeting or staff meeting, sleep a lot.

Saturday - 1 piano lesson, pretend to clean and plan for the next week but get nowhere, sing at evening mass in church choir.

Insert prayer at every event. (yes, even at the end of recess duty). Insert mental lesson planning at every moment.

Repeat.


Side Note: Andie visited!

It's beautiful and it's hard. That's what she said. Just kidding. Not really kidding.

THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO. I know the lessons and choirs are my own choice but I need the money and singing. BUT THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO. Contact all these churches about scheduling and songs and caroling and gahhhh kids won't shut up.

Yesterday I felt extremely overwhelmed...what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks have I gotten myself into. A little more than 3 months ago, the big guy in the sky, his son, or his spirit had zero place in my life. Now it's constant.
I talked with a woman I respect very much at the All Souls mass last night. (yup, had mass Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday this week.) I was crying about the overwhelmingness of all of the "cult-like" ways of the church that made me very uncomfortable. She told me it was the devil on my shoulder telling me I don't need God, but she said God knows my heart even if I don't know Him.

Anyway...haven't exercised in a while. Blog fail.

My 1st 15K

Registered.
September 29th.
Albuquerque.
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What the crap am I thinking?

I'm ready to let the love in.

I feel bittersweet.

Life is beautiful right now...all I do is sing in church and sing and dance and make music with children. I love all 330 of my babies no matter how much they drive me nuts. The beautiful voices enchant me and the kindness I see each day from the staff and students warms me.
My spiritual life has done a 360 into another land. I was once an angry Atheist, and now, I am not Catholic, or even Christian, but I am spiritual. I am calm. I follow the Word of the Lord even if I do not believe it was actually said. I follow because I see and feel the beauty.
I am challenged every day to learn how to guide these young religious musicians. It is good to be challenged as long as I don't lose my mind.

Still, I feel bitter about life outside of my work. I can't keep my bedroom or car clean (no surprise, I know). I can't find the time to get info about insurance and all that grown-up stuff. I haven't cooked anything in weeks. I can't find what is important outside of my hymnal.
I know it's just because I'm alone, but it seems everybody else in the whole world is married, engaged, or having a baby. As ex's move on and boast about their bride, I can't help but think, "but it was supposed to be me." Michael will never call me his girlfriend. The ones that want me I don't want. This is not going to work. It makes me want to go into the woods and marry myself and never leave.

I want to love. I want to matter to someone above the age of 12. I want someone to say they see a future with me and actually mean it. I'm ready, world. Ok?

I don't know why my triathlon process is so slow. Improvements have been made in running, and I have learned to ride a bike which is a start. Swimming is easy for me, but still I should just pay the damn money and use the pool somewhere to practice. I feel I won't be happy unless I pick up the pace and just register for one so I have to do it.
Or else, this blog is crap.

The Color Run 2012

On August 25th, I woke up at 4 am, put on my new white beater and sports bra, and drove to Albuquerque to run in The Color Run: "the happiest 5k in the world." I got my packet right away and waited around. for 2 hrs. Since I got there so early, there was opportunity to get to the front of the race and start first. I thought..."hmmm...this will never happen again." (open seating), but then I was even more comforted when I noticed the obese people and children at the front with me. There were some "elite runners" to the left, so I stayed to the middle. The announcer threw frisbees and t-shirts at us while we waited and I admired the ocean of white shirts around me.

Around every kilometer mark, people stood ready with squirt bottles of corn starch color powder to throw at you. I put my arms up and danced and twirled and "woo"ed through the patches of color dust. I ran most of it, walked briskly a little. At the end there's a big color party where everyone gets a packet of color and we throw it into the air at the same time. Fun shit.

A few things to know before you do the color run:

1. White shirt dress code. But also make sure you wear a giant tutu or a fake mustache.

2. If you have a baby, put your temporary tattoo on his or her forehead and run the 5k with the baby in the stroller.

3. If you don't run thru the colors, you're lame. Just don't come.

4. If you're lame, you can cut across to the returning side before running all the way to halfway point. Then you don't have to run a whole 5k (what? just don't come).

5. This run is so noncompetitive that when you get the drink of water at the halfway point, you actually put your cup in a trash bag - you don't just keep running.

6. It's not a timed race because emphasis is on fun, so if you're going for a PR or you want to know, bring a watch.

7. If you see a girl sitting by herself drinking a water bottle after the race, go ask her to take a picture of you and your significant other. She has nothing better to do and really wants to take a picture of how you did this fun thing together.

Awesome.

Post - Las Vegas

So I spent 2 weeks in the Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. I only lost $2 gambling ($30 of Michael's) but lost a lot to accommodations and dining. I am now certified in Orff-Schulwerk Level One and I feel really refreshed. I met some great musicians and great people along the way and I got to hoop in 4 new states. I hooped with a mostly naked cowboy, Elvis, PeeWee Herman, Danny DeVito, and some classmates in our dance studio. I hooped somewhere else in Utah, and at the 4 corners monument which was really fun.

I decided to come back to Santa Fe without going to San Francisco because I was totally gonna run out of money unless I broke into my savings. It will have to wait (I know...that's totally un-Kathleen to say, but what can I do?) I also just wanted to get back and rest in my hometown even though I am homeless. I've stayed at Michael's the past 2 nights and am moving into Grace and Gerard's house in like an hour. A LOT of work ahead of me. Don't care right now. As I finish my Brewtus at Applebees...and a waiter just gave me this for having the most beautiful smile he's ever seen...

Michael says I'm still skinnier than I was...but I'm definitely bloated from all the eating at restaurants and not having any energy to run while I was living in a hotel and in school for more than 8 hrs/day then having homework and the stress of driving in that ridiculous city.

The Color Run is on August 25th. I want to run the whole thing.

Life's a trip.

Dad & Anna's trip out here was so fun :) We ate a lot and walked a lot and shopped a lot and I got to do a lot of the touristy things that I have not done yet like see the Loretto Chapel stairs and shop for souvenirs. We went to Tomasita's to see the Mariachias, to a flamenco show at El Farol, and up to Hyde Park to bumble around on some rocks. They helped me move from one school to my new school and some of my stuff from my house to Gerard's parents' garage. I cried when I dropped them at the airport. I love those people. I was just happy that they were there with me.

So I made it alive to Las Vegas in one day. The plan was to drive from Santa Fe to the 4 Corners to hoop there one day, and then sleep and finish the drive the next day. I had spent all of Friday and Saturday morning cleaning out my house completely so I could hand over the keys and get my deposit back. Saturday morning saying goodbye to Michael I was too caught up in all the Michaeldom and I asked/decided to go to his friend's wedding that was going on that day/night. The wedding was in the Basilica here in Santa Fe which was gorgeous (Catholic comments another day) and then the reception was at a casino in Espanola. I saw one of my students (Kinder) there and pulled her up to dance. She laughed and laughed. Then I danced with Michael for the rest of the evening. I laughed and laughed. The band was New Mexican Spanish music. Michael and I twirled and tangoed and for a couple hours I was flying. We took silly inappropriate pictures in the photo booth which was such a hit that the prints were passed around the reception hall without us knowing. Eventually we decided we needed more food and got all-you-can-eat crab legs in the casino. A silly, unbelievable, spontaneous night.

I left Sunday morning - now taking the shortest route to LV. Down I went to Albuquerque where I caught I-40W. If you remember last year's roadtrip, I spent quite some time on this highway. Back again I was. Taking the trip further West. I thought about all the things I've learned in the past year. How much I didn't know then. How scared I was. and here I am just as scared.

I stopped a couple times for gas/to pee. One homeless man told me, "Don't leave - I love you!"
My big stop was Meteor Crater, AZ. I hooped the shit out of that site. 50,000 years ago a meteorite fell and made this big hole and it's astonishing. You stand right up by it on the rim and dude it's fun. When I tell people what I'm doing when I'm hooping they think I'm the coolest person ever. Feels good.

It was tooooo long a drive - I will never drive 11 hours (in the car - 12 or 13 in all) in one day voluntarily again.

I spent two nights in the Las Vegas Hotel which was beautiful but I spent most of the time sleeping, and now I'm in the Riviera for two nights which is less beautiful but there's free Wi-Fi.

My homework...just kidding...

My Orff course is awesome. Pedagogy, games, movement, recorder, and special things for school. Today my movement teacher asked if I've studied dance. It was because I was totally the best oyster interpretive dancer there. Or I'm just not afraid to be silly. I like wiggling and that's what I'll do. There's some really nice people. Rock 'n Roll.

Fifty Shades of Tan

I walked into a Starbucks today to start reading Fifty Shades of Grey. I walk in in my little blue dress which I've worn about 20 times since I bought it last month and I smile at the cute boy sitting in one of the comfy chairs. I turn to order my iced soy caramel macchiato, and I hear him turn to his friend and say "daaaaamn." I stiiillll got it.

Yeah buddy.

So, I'm only about 12 pages into this crazed book. All I know about it is that it has an irresistible, tantalizing, gorgeous man who thinks he can control anyone with whom he comes in contact.

As I bash myself over the head over Michael, I've decided that it would be the greatest book ever to write the same story based in Santa Fe...the land of adobe and dirt...starring Michael as Mr. Tan...in the new trilogy...Fifty Shades of Tan.

The cover of said book...circa September,2011.

I had a wacky week of babysitting...a fun 9 year old boy and 11 year old girl who I really got along with at a carnival and at Cliff's Amusement Park and Waterpark in Albuquerque - where I had wayyy too much fun. Lots of rollercoasters, lots of screaming, lots of laughing. Then a 4 year old boy who literally threw rocks at me. Then a 6 year old girl with a brain of a serial killer.

All this babysitting is awesome for getting extra cash. And I always remember the phrase of an old friend..."but I LIKE sitting on baby."

I need to find out tomorrow exactly how much time I have to travel (i.e. when exactly I have to report to school), so I know which route to take to Las Vegas/San Francisco/wherever else I want to go. I could stop at the 4 corners, or Sedona, or upper or downer. Unfortunately I might have to go the straightest route possible and boom feet in the Pacific boom get home. Either way, I'm hooping across America a little more and that makes me happy.

If you don't know already, I got a new job. I am going to be Santo Nino Catholic School's music teacher. It's the same salary with much better behavior and literacy in children. I'm scared and excited. I will have to lead the choir for mass every week which scares the shit out of me. I went to church today and sang in Spanish like a boss.

I don't know where I'm goin, but I sure know where I've been.

SOS

Things are bad. Roommate moved out today, so I have the place to myself for a few weeks, with no bed, no air conditioning, weak internet, and a shower curtain duct taped to the curtain rod. I'm scared to death about money.
Dad & Anna are coming for a week in July, then I go to Las Vegas/San Francisco, then I move in with Grace & Gerard, then school starts. I miss Andie.

In that Roommate moved out, no more P90X for me unless I buy it. It was a good 5 days. Now I have to get back running/biking/swimming harder. I can still try to remember the P90X ways.



I need to start pushing harder. Now.

P90X

Today was my first day of a commitment...to P90X. Below is my "before" shot from the back. I feel awkward about the front shot...teehee. Excited to see the difference in 30, 60, and 90 days.

My new roommate (to be explained in a moment) got the DVDs for free from a friend. Since we didn't have the equipment to start Chest/Back, we started today with Plyometrics. It was an hour-long session of jumps, squats, and everything that made those legs burn. It was hard, and I felt like my legs would give out any moment. Later today we got the resistance bands and the chin up bar so tomorrow we're moving on to Arms/Shoulders & Abs.

Well, if you didn't know, a little more than a month ago I moved in with Michael. Things were great. I bought his Prius, spent time with his daughter, laughed a lot...
Then last Friday he came home at around midnight with glossy eyes, and after a few harsh words, I was mostly moved out the next day. I was homeless, staying with a friend from Rent, with my Prius and Acclaim full of my stuff. I got the last of it from the house today and have moved it in to a new house.

Another good friend from Rent was desperately looking for a place/roommate as well, so we found a newly renovated 2BR/2BA. It's pretty. I'm a little nervous about making it a home/insurance/blahblah, but I'm trying to keep a level head and make it work. When I realized the money that would be going into it, the first thing I hyperventilated about was travel. Travel is my drug - my dope, my crack, my speed. This 2 weeks in Las Vegas in July will ease me for a little bit, but lord, sooner rather than later, I will want to take flight. Then there's the rest of life, which requires money. Oops.

Rent overall went well. I did the crash diet and then kinda didn't care anymore, but I danced sexy in a half-top, blue latex pants, and leopard boots, and I totally rocked my little purple dress.

P90X...take me there! To my marathon! To Kilimanjaro! To a size 4!

Agh...fine...

Itchy Hands

Well this is me post-3-miler in the hot Santa Fe sun.

My least favorite part of running is the big, puffy, itchy hands I get after even a half mile. They're really itchy and distracting. I try pumping them, rubbing them, putting them above my head, but they still get all huge and itchy.

Anyway...it was a good run. I had organic yogurt with berries and almond butter for breakfast and Rejuv'nate for lunch. Two weeks til Rent opens and my belly fat is still out of control.

Time to really crunch it.

Please, God, if you exist, take away my belly fat and hips so that I can feel sexy on stage. And please give me my voice back (a bad cold took it away.)

Santa Fe Runaround 5k

Girls on the Run did it!
10 of our girls showed up and finished their first 5k all in the range of 35-50 minutes.
My 3rd grade running buddy was a trooper...had to walk sometimes but she stuck it out in that heat. Our 2nd grade honorary member was trampled in the first 30 seconds, but after crying, she got up and was the 2nd girl of Nava to complete the race. Damn, girl.

I'm on Day 2 of a stupid cold and yesterday I thought I broke my toe so I was nervous today would be bad. Still I felt strong and tried to push my buddy along. It felt good to be there supporting someone else. Next race I run I'll be solo and can push myself harder.

One observation I've made in my three 5ks is that finish line people are assholes...?
In my first 5k, a man yelled at me SLOW DOWN SLOW DOWN.
In my second 5k, a man yelled at me WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!
In my third 5k (today), a man yelled at me STOP! DO NOT CROSS THE FINISH LINE. (as a running buddy, I did not wear a number, so I suppose I was not allowed to cross the finish line.) They could at least be nice about it.

Teacher gift taken in PhotoBooth. I put my thang down flip it and reverse it.

REJUUUUUV'NATE!

Ok so I have this obsession...with Rejuv'nate by Herbalife.
It's this health club thing...there's a "bar" around the corner.

You walk in and sign in...
You sit at the bar and they give you a shot of Aloe Vera. Good for digestion. Delicious.
Then you tell them what tea you want. I usually get raspberry. It's made of green and black tea extracts and burns 90 calories just by drinking it. It's only 5 calories. It's amazingly delicious.
Then you tell them what shake you want. I've had the "Drewskee," the "Lemon Drop," "Kevin's Special #1," "Vanessa's Dream," and the "Almond Joy." It's got 21 vitamins and minerals to make you awesome. More than fruit alone and it's only 185 calories and acts as a meal replacement. It's got protein and more things to make you feel energized and healthy.

Then you pay your $6 and walk away feeling on top of the world.

Nice people. Good deliciousness. Ohhh myyyy.

I'm getting there. Just have to keep running, eating better, and going to Rejuuuuuuv'nate.

Summer on the horizon

Long story short...

I still can't sing "Out Tonight."

2 and a half more days of school before summer vacation.

My 6th graders gradu...I mean...continuate tomorrow and I'm gonna ball my eyes out. I had a GREAT day with Kinder today. 4th & 5th graders still act like 4 year olds on crack.

I'm moved out. Leaving Stella was harder than leaving New Jersey.

5k May 26th...cute 3rd grade running buddy.

Want to drink lots and lots of beer, but I have less than a month to thin out...so one will have to do.

Annnnd this is the best song ever...

CHILDREN

So...remember I said there are 3 different groups of girls on the run? Fast/Steady/Lazy?
I should have said 4...Fast/Steady/Slower/Umm..are you kidding?

We did our practice 5k today around the streets of Santa Fe - 3 coaches took our girls in "waves" like a real race. I placed the girls in the 3 teams which they were not happy about because I separated "friends" on purpose.
I ran with wave 3. Well..if you could call it running. My 5 girls and I started slow and steady and of course there was a jerkingly sudden request to walk. We walked, but as 3 of the girls trucked along with strong strides, two slowed so much I think a worm could pass them. Complaints of their ankle, stomach, head, knee...blahblahblah. I was mean and said "alright do i have to walk you back?" They decided to keep going...but refused to listen to me when I said it was time to run. Downhill. for a block. please. anything. We've trained for this for weeks. but you were too busy in the bathroom, or texting, or not listening. Huh? Oh I understand.

I was one of those mean coaches. It didn't feel great. but my 3 that were actually determined were gonna go nuts if we didn't start running again. I walked between the 2 groups, making sure they didn't leave my sight, as I was responsible for them out in the middle of Santa Fe. They started giving me attitude and I was like...why am I doing this? I threatened there would be no snacks left for us if we didn't pick it up. Then they'd run for like 5 seconds and stop to complain.

While I'm complaining about children, I'm realizing that my 4th & 5th grades are going to be my 5th & 6th grades...supposed to be the most developed musical children in the school. After having fired at me "Yay no more Miss Echols next year" (unknowingly) and "but that's boring!" and "I don't want to have a music class" and "I don't care" and more today...I'm really counting on my relationship with the younger grades to carry me thru...
It drives me nuts that I've approached musical learning from so many angles and have engaged in so many activities for learning simple things like reading notes on the staff and reading rhythm, and they still shout out "C!" when it's like a G or something.

Anyway...7 more days with my middle school hoodlums. 5 more days with my elementary hoodlums, plus A LOT of cleaning, inventory, and responsibilities. Chamber singers concert. Tesuque concert. Rent. Gin & Subtonic gigging. Cleaning my car and room. Still too much to do. Day at a time.

MY CAR BRAKES ARE OUT AGAIN AFTER SPENDING OVER $800 ON THEM IN JANUARY.

Seeking Shape

I have to be this sexy/confident by June 14.

The small challenge of playing Mimi Marquez is that I'm not hispanic. I'm still unsure of how I landed this role in NEW MEXICO, but I'm happy to take it on. I've bought a long brown wig and have been spending time outside in addition to tanning to reach a latina glow by June. I will strive to eat less and exercise more to get as skinny as a drug addict.

The big challenge of playing Mimi Marquez is dancing and singing at the same time. The song "Out Tonight" is hard enough as it is, but with high kicks, splits, crawling across the floor, and shaking my thang, it's near impossible. My neck hurts, my strong legs feel weak, and I'm gasping for air. I will learn how to tone it down just enough to be a successful performer.

Girls on the Run has been awesome. We talk about peer pressure, eating healthy, and balance in our lives. The girls (3rd-6th grade) seem to fall into 3 groups...
1. The fast girls - never seem to stop or run out of energy.
2. The steady girls - might need to occasionally walk but keep a good running pace.
3. The lazy girls - f this sh.

I try and stick with the steady girls and catch up to the fast girls sometimes.

Taking Stella and Jaguar for run/walks is so liberating and beautiful. I can't move away yet. Also, workin it out at Gin & Subtonic gigs really works the whole body. I should be on my way down to 121 lbs. (I've named this year the year of 121) but I'm doubtful because I still feel gravity on my hips.

School has actually been really bearable. Middle school is coming around as we prepare for our concert on Wednesday. Both elementary concerts came together beautifully with really nice feedback. It's just survival til the end...12 more kind-of days.

Just keep swimming...oh yeah...I gotta get back on that.

Ups and Downs of Teaching

Yesterday my "best" 7th grade boy threw his chorus folder at my head. He stormed out of the room and I whispered, "wow." That was that story. 19 more days of teaching middle school chorus.

on the flip-flop...

This afternoon I got this e-mail from a Kindergarten kid's mama.

"I am (______)'s mom and I wanted to write and tell you how much I enjoyed the Spring performance last week. As you may know (_______) is diagnosed with autism and there has been no opportunity to see him do anything like what he did for that performance. He had fun, participated, and he played the xylophone! AWESOME! Thank you for that opportunity and faith in him! It means the world to me. I want to share with you a post I wrote about that evening. Again, thanks for believing in my kid.
thoughtfully, ________ _______"

She followed this will a copy of one of her blog posts which narrates her thoughts of the evening, ending it with "a beautiful, perfect 45 minutes!"

It feels good. Real good.

The Color Run

http://thecolorrun.com/albuquerque/#race_info


Just registered. Yay!

Emotional Health

Today's topic in Girls on the Run was emotional health. Identifying what you're feeling and how to handle a situation with a "Girls on the Run mindset." My girls are in 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th grades and most are primarily Spanish-speaking. Answers included "bad," "sad," and "happy." As I ran around the elementary school with the silly children, I thought of all the feelings of the past week and ones I have for the upcoming week. Compassionate, Jealous, Angry, Joyful, Insulted, Flabbergasted, Apprehensive, Invigorated, Frustrated, Punchinface, Anxious, Victorious...

Concert season coming, kids with Spring Fever, me with Spring Fever, tired body. Must...remember...to care for...emotional...health...

Dude and running's been getting harder and I'm wondering if i have asthma. I cough every time and my chest gets all crazy.

I am now cast as Mimi in a local production of RENT and am very excited about that. Good thing for emotional health. Even playing a drug addict.

Anyway...tonight I'm taking a pilgrimage from Nambe, NM to Chimayo, NM. It's this thing all the Catholic people do for Good Friday. They pray the whole walk. Starts at 10 and goes all night. Should be a beautiful experience. Though sleep sounds really beautiful too.

Adrenaline Junkie?

Who'd ever thought?

I would lay money down on the fact that my yesterday was better than your yesterday.

I went back to Tent Rocks. I might be addicted. This time...I almost died.

I got to the top of the mountain, which is mildly challenging but no big deal. Then, some strange possession came over me and I decided to climb down the mountain...the wrong way. Like...over the edge of the cliff. Death wish? No. Longing to prove something? Maybe. Dude fun? Yes. Idiot move? Yes.

I slid down one steep, unstable hill on my butt, getting plenty of scratches on my back, then stepped carefully along the side of the mountain, holding on to rocks that were hardly attached to the mountain. I came to a ridge where I had to kinda make a jump. I was scared as hell. When I got to the lower part i was like "shit it's too late....there's no choice but to go down." Down I inched.

Then, realized, there was no way down to the ground. No way. Hell to the no way. I had to go back up.
Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. "I don't think I can do it. Helicopters are going to have to come save me."
The earth was unstable. Each step just brought me back down.
I swung my feet into the loose earth so that they'd stick. Each step was grueling on my muscles. I climbed like a spider monkey. (No i don't really know how a spider monkey climbs.) I held onto small plants and walls of earth. I got to that ridge and stood there, scared to death. I can't do it, I thought. I found a rock in the wall that would probably hold me for a split second and that's all I needed. I stepped on it and thrusted myself up onto the next slanted surface, holding onto the dirt for my life. I watched rocks tumble down the mountain and knew that could be me.
I made it to the top after a struggle. Only I couple cuts on my hands, legs, and back. But a huge step for me in bravery, will power, and strength.

Will i do that again? Not likely. Too dangerous. But dude I did it.
And I'm that much closer to Kilimanjaro. Merher.

Miss Thunder Cloud

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

First day back after Spring Break. Children. Behavior. Enough said.

I'm sick and tired of the excuses. "Oh it's because it's the day after Spring Break." "Oh it's because it's sunny out." "Oh it's because last week was Halloween." "Oh it's because it's Friday."
Ohhhhhh...I'm sorry, school, THAT's why we got nothing done today...AGAIN.

No. No more. Stop it. No more excuses.
Now I'm mean. and boring. and I don't like it. But I love my boogies so much I could die for them. All 350 of them.


I want them to feel success.
I'm off my program. I'm confused and tired and air-headed. I forget what my goals are, and I'm too disorganized to list and simplify them.

In better news, Blue Corn has Wi-Fi.

To flaunt or not to flaunt...

It's a pre-decided thing that on gig days, I do not get anything done. Too much to think about. I'm ready a bit too early. And all I can do is sit and wonder if I'm dressed too slutty. I feel skinny enough to wear this dress, with the on-purpose split in the side and feathers over the boobs. Still, i recall the band and band's parents talking about how I was not dressed enough for our first gig...and this is a similar situation.

Whatever...it's gonna be a good time tonight. No one, not even my desire to reach 121 lbs this year, is going to get in between me and green beer...maybe I'll even get the courage to Irish Car Bomb.

Sincerely,
Slutastic.

Spring Break

Today was a good day. Macbook got all brand new and shiny at the iDoctor (Apple store in Albuquerque) and I went for a fantastic hike at Tent Rocks National Monument. Weaving in and out of large sedimentary rock fixtures in the warm sun. A good sweat and burning feeling in my butt from climbing up up up a la Inca Trail. Marveling at these gigantic pieces of rock. Encouraging people passed by me on my way up - "you're almost there!" - and I returned the favor on my way back down. A hell of a view from the top. A few hours of bliss.

Then I came home and took Stella for a quick sprint.
Girls on the Run starts on Tuesday and I gotta get fit to lead those girls! I'm hoping *knock on wood* that we get enough girls in the program by Tuesday to run it.

Tomorrow night is our St. Patty's gig at Evangelo's which should be hotttt.
I'm so tired.

Girls on the Run

Dad had a heart attack last Saturday and things have been hard. The clickpad of my mac is ridiculously acting up and i had to practically smash the thing to get to blog this.

School has improved for the most part. Behavior is still silly, but not like mad-bad. I've gotten tougher and most kids have grown to like me more. I have but a few days to decide how I am going to further the expression of my next year's intentions. There are possibilities. For next year and for life.

I've started an after-school chorus for my elementary school, which has been less than perfect, but it's nice to be with my kids that actually like singing a lot. I've joined the community college's Chamber Singers, and Gin & Subtonic continues to gig. Lesson plans, concert plans, bus requests, permission slips, and more continue to pile up.

Now, as if I didn't have enough on my plate, I've begun the process of becoming a coach for Girls on the Run. GOTR is a program for our 3rd through 6th grade girls to learn about healthy eating habits, boosting self-esteem, and the benefits of exercise. There is set curriculum from the program, but they need teacher-runners to support the lessons and....RUN. We will be training together twice a week after school for a 5K at the end of May. Damn am I excited. I love these girls.

Let's see how it goes!

Children

I'm too tired. That's all.

Back in town

^ view from my house

I'm successfully back and teaching in Santa Fe. I've survived two days, including "Thirsty Thursday" which has been named so because i teach 5 classes instead of the normal 4 - all an hour long - and all of which have students who seem rather thirsty for my blood. It starts with choir, then Kinder, then 5th grade, then a 1/2 hr break, then my out-of-control 4th grade, then 5th grade again. I love teaching 5th grade - they're really great singers and musicians when they try, but getting them to chill and try and not be rude is confusing. Kinder's so freakin cute i can't stand it, but they can be silly, and 4th grade...don't get me started...

I've changed some things about the way I teach chorus...getting chairs instead of risers & starting with a "Do Now" and ending with a self-assessment in notebooks has helped tremendously. I got drums in the room and though they're not crazy about them, it's something else for us to do and get up for. I've said I hate them but that's not true --- I wouldn't be thinking about them night and day if I didn't care. I want us to be good, and not just for Music Performance Assessment, but for us. I got 3 new students today which is good because young singers need safety in numbers. When I dismissed the kids to get their backpacks, one of the new boys said "wow this class goes A LOT faster than band!" I take it as a compliment.

I'm kind of obsessed with my job. I want to be an amazing teacher.


Also, Gin & Subtonic makes me so happy. Our first time back together after break was interesting...most stuff was solid and then there were some train wrecks, but we've got to prepare for them too. Tuesday night is the big night - first real gig! wooooooot.

I'm spending a lot of time with Sean - a happy, humble, tattooed, tall man I locked eyes with a couple months ago. He brought me saltines when I was puking. :)

My foot's asleep.